It's here!

I think.

I know it has been a really long time since I written. In fact almost a month. But really, there has been little to discuss. Life has been moving on at a reasonable pace. Every single I think about what happened and have a moment of sadness. I still do not understanf why it happened to me. But hnestly, what can I do not but move on.

So today was a great, big, gigantic aid in the process. I think my period is finally here. It is so funny to go from hoping you do not get your period to wishing it would come already. It had been 26 days since the D& C and over 40 days since the mesoprostal and initial bleeding. I am so excited. I had my follow up appoint with the Dr. a couple of weeks back and she said everything "looked" good. I just had to wait for my 'p' to show. I laughed asked her how I would know if it was here seeing as though I had spent so many days bleeding. She said I would "know." And if course I do. To spare you the gross details, it is different from the post procedure stuff. On top of that, I was a huge b*tch to Robbie over the weekend and I have been hungrier than usual. All typical signs for me, that "it" was on its way.

I was given a gift certificate a long time ago from a friend at work as a thank you for pet sitting while she was on vacation. Somehow I had decided that it was to be used to celebrate something. At the time I was not sure what. Well when we got new of the miscarriage, I took it out of my wallet and told Robbie that we would save it until I got my period. The only next opportunity to celebrate I could think of at the moment. So when I dicovered "it" after it work, it was one of the 1st things I thought of.... going out to dinner with my hubby. A little pathetic but whatever.

So of course my mind went nuts thinking about babies again. And if we were to (G-d willing) conceive this time around, the baby would be due mid-November. Just in time to have something really wonderful to be thankful for at Thanksgiving. I hate to get my hopes up so of course I calculated the next cycle too...The put the due date the week before the holidays. Not too bad either. Having a baby on Christmas would not be that great but beggers cannot be choosers right??